Death is sad! Death brings sadness to everyone involved, whether by blood or just friendship. Death leaves a big empty space in our everyday lives. Death leaves a lot of pain.
Today I went to my cousin Tina's funeral and it was beautiful, but of course, very sad!! There were a lot of people at the church....the casket looked impressive in its glossy gray color! It really looked magnificent! It was a very cold morning with a gray cloudy sky, but thank goodness no rain! The chill in the air penetrated deep into my bones, making my knee problems worse then they usually are.( I just got a cortisone shot on my left knee on Tuesday, three days ago.) The cemetery looks beautiful with the wonderful trees, tombstones and the Fort Worth skyline in the background. Tina's casket was covered with a huge bouquet of big huge red rosebuds, forming a rosary of red roses on a green cushion of leaves and greens! It really looked so very beautiful....she would have loved it!! After the uplifting words of the priest, we had a chance to say goodbye by spreading a little dust on her casket from a small stone container provided. After condolences were given to the immediate family, relatives and friends stood around and talked about they experiences and memories with Tina before staring to leave. I was very slow making my way back to my car because the ground was very rough and uneven making it difficult for me to walk. I was using my cane and holding on to my son's hand. I looked back for a final look and realized the men had lowered her casket into the ground. Whether I am ready or not, I have to accept the fact that Tina is gone, leaving a huge empty space in my life.
Since I arrived 18 years ago here in Fort Worth, she had been a big part of my daily life. I was remembering with my son on my way out of the cemetery the details of our arrival. She had given us instructions of what exit to use, but we missed the exit and ended up downtown. I called her from a public phone and she drove downtown so we could follow her to her home. We slept at her house and the next day, she found me a small apartment where we lived until she told us of a house right across her house, where we lived for some years. Even when we moved to other parts of Fort Worth and even during the two years we spent in Dallas, she and I were visiting each other often and talking on the phone at least twice a day. Sometimes we went to the Thriftstore together or to eat together to celebrate her birthday. Tina was really a wonderful person! Tina, I miss you so much already!!